Hey Y'all

I'm gonna get 'shined up tonight and burn stuff! Just thought you'd want to know. If I'm feeling frisky I may even dance around the fire sans clothing. I don't think the new neighbors have had that pleasure yet. Other than that not much new 'round these parts. Keep it real yo, I'm gonna go gleam the cube. Later Y'all!

Yeah, Whatever...............

Today is just one of those days. I hate people, I don't trust anyone anymore. I don't feel any need to open up to anyone anymore, people will just fuck you over anyway.

What You Looking At!?

So I'm sitting at a stoplight the other day, just kinda looking around and I notice a woman a lane over from me. She's really cute, I'm guesing about my age, driving a mini-van looking a little frazzled. I admit I was kind of staring at her. I find women my age hot, I know, hard to believe, but I like women in their late thirties and early forties. They never believe me when I say it, but I love the way they look. Now don't get me wrong I do find younger women attractive, but I find women my age just as attractive. But that isn't why this story is funny. Ok, while I'm zoning out thinking about taking all this woman's clothes off and doing things to her that are illegal in most southern states, I notice a much younger woman in the lane right next to me, staring at me. She was VERY cute, driving a hot little sports car, windows down, music up, and she was looking at me and smiling really big. At first I couldn't figure out why she was looking at me like that, then I realized I was looking right past her at the cute mom in the mini-van and not even really noticing her, but she thought I was. After a few seconds we all took off and went our separate ways, and I was thinking, even if the younger woman was interested, I'm not sure I could date her. I don't think we'd have anything in common. All there would be is sex. And I don't know how long you can sustain a relationship on just sex..........hours of it, hot sweaty sex............her tight little body climbing all over mine..................willing to try anything new...............day in and day out................just sex.................wait a minute! This post was supposed to be how I find women my age just as hot, and I still do, always will! But I may have to rethink that not wanting to date a younger woman thing, not that any of them would have me, but just in case...........................;-) Later

Things I've Learned The Hard Way...................

If you don't know how old the meat is in the fridge, don't eat it.
Don't pick at that scab.
Don't pretend to mug your 75 year old aunt on a busy street corner.
Before asking the person knocking on the bathroom door to "come on in, even though I don't have any pants on", make sure it's not the guy that signs your check at work.
When you're really drunk, don't promise anything to someone that isn't, they'll remember.
Put the camera away when you're really drunk.
Don't smoke a bunch of weed right after you drink a bunch of beer.
40 degree water hurts when you jump into it.
Gasoline and lighters don't mix.
Skateboards are dangerous at speeds over 35mph.
Don't skate drunk........well at least wear pads if you do.
When the dentist says it's going to hurt.......a lot, believe him.
You can get sunburned even when it's cold out, that was an odd shade of purple.
Don't tell some guy you don't know "I love you man!" They don't usually find it as funny as you do.
Dancing is for other people.
When a woman says, "tell me the truth" that really isn't what she means.
If you ask a woman "what do you want for (your birthday/Christmas/ whatever holiday you have to buy them gifts)" and they say "nothing", again, not what they really mean!!
Light fuse and get away......................really, get the hell away!!
Stop drinking the homemade beer if your lips get numb.
Don't try to get to the "downstairs" bathroom if you have the stomach flu.
Nobody but you, has your own best interests in mind. Not funny, but damn true.
If you hit yourself in the thumb with a hammer two times in a row, find a new way to do what you're doing. Ohh, and get some ice, because your thumb is going to turn purple and get really big.
Really spicy foods burn going in AND going out.
Don't barf up Doritos.
Don't drink bottled beer in the shower, the glass gets slippery and cleaning up glass naked sucks. Drink beer out of cans in the shower.
I'm sure there's more, and I KNOW the list isn't done getting added to, but there ya have it. Try to learn from my mistakes, I probably haven't.

A Sad Day For All...........................

RIP Marilyn Chambers

Hey Y'all!!!

I had a really funny post I was going to write tonight, I was thinking about it all day and now that I'm home, it's not going to happen. I started drinking and I'm watching "12 Corazones" on Telemundo. I have no fucking idea what the point is of this show, but I love it! The host is fricking hot, and they have all these hot latin women on there too. I think it might be a dating show, but I just watch it for the chicks, gotta love those Mexican women! Did I ever tell you that my first two real girlfriends were Mexican? No? Well that's a story for another post. I think someone just won on the show, she's kissing one of the dudes now, at least I think they won something. Did I mention I love this show!? I have to go, now they've got the chick with the big boobs riding a fake horse!!! Later Freaks!

REO Speedwagon.......................

The other day someone said, "hey man, why the hell do you drive a station wagon?" My answer was the obvious one, of course! Because chicks dig it! Why the hell else do you do anything in this world. Guys don't become rockstars because they love the music, it's to get the girlies man. And since I can't play guitar, I drive a station wagon. If a chick seems on the edge about the wagon, I just remind her of the 5000lb towing capacity and then she's all over me! Some guys can't handle the attention that the wagon brings but I'm learning to live with it. Some days it's a curse, but nobody ever said it was easy being me. Later freaks.