REO Speedwagon.......................

The other day someone said, "hey man, why the hell do you drive a station wagon?" My answer was the obvious one, of course! Because chicks dig it! Why the hell else do you do anything in this world. Guys don't become rockstars because they love the music, it's to get the girlies man. And since I can't play guitar, I drive a station wagon. If a chick seems on the edge about the wagon, I just remind her of the 5000lb towing capacity and then she's all over me! Some guys can't handle the attention that the wagon brings but I'm learning to live with it. Some days it's a curse, but nobody ever said it was easy being me. Later freaks.

Don't invite the Devil in, he'll drink all your beer, I think..................

I was going to write something really fucking funny here, but I forgot what it was. It may have something to do with the beer I've already had to drink, but I don't think so. My grandma used to say that if you forgot what you were going to say it must have been a lie. But then again when I was about 7 years old the wind blew the door open and I jokingly said "come on in" and she yelled at me and said that if the door opens by itself it's the devil trying to get in. And she really believed it! No, that doesn't scare the shit out of a 7 year old kid! Not at all. So I guess I'm just telling you don't invite the devil into your house, or something. Because she said the devil can only get in if you invite him. Ok, I need some more beer. I'm spending some time with 36 of my friends tonight, they're blue and 12 fl.ozs. Later freaks, time to start the bonfire and get fitshaced! I may take some video! But I can't post that here, then you'd know just how fucking pretty I was!