"Mr. Wendal"

I've been watching "Arrested Development" on Netflix lately, they have some new Netfix only episodes. Which is really fucking cool, but I've been trying to re-watch the whole series before I watch the new ones. There's one little side effect of all of this that I didn't foresee. It seems to have rekindled my massive crush on Portia De Rossi! Yes, I know her sexual orientation, and yes, I know her marital status. But that doesn't do anything to quell my undying love for her! The heart wants what it wants! Even if it's a married, lesbian, movie star. Later Freaks.


Just in case you were wondering about the post title.

"Waiting For The Sunshine"

Had a fucked up dream last night. It felt like I was back in the nineties. The nineties were pretty strange days for this cat. There's a good portion of them I just dont remember, had a little problem with the bottle, and maybe a few other things. Now my dream was all sepia toned just like the video for the Screaming Trees video " Nearly Lost You ". It was fucking wild! I was looking for something, I always seem to be in my dreams. I think I was in a big old factory or a warehouse or something. I remember thinking about my life now and thinking it was some weird déjà vu or dream because I hadn't done anything like that yet. I remember feeling lonely, incredibly lonely. I was walking fast, almost running and totally panicking trying to find somewhere or something I'm not sure which. Then I woke up feeling just as fucked in the head, completely out of breath. Had my head in a fog the rest of the day. Why can't I have normal dreams like other people!? At least I didn't shoot myself in the face with a shotgun this time, now that was a way more fucked up dream! I guess I should turn off the grunge rock and take off the flannel, cargo shorts and boots. Yeah, I looked like that! I shaved the beard and cut the hair, but I have to admit I haven't given up the boots or flannel. Later freaks.

My Beard Could Kick Your Beard's Ass!

So at work we have this thing going on where we're supposed to grow some sort of facial hair to raise awareness for men's health issues. I think it's colon cancer and prostate cancer, and well any excuse I can find to not have to shave as much is fine by me. Though I guess I'm at a really high risk of getting both of those since my dad had prostate cancer and my grandfather on my dads side died of colon cancer, along with multiple other relatives, so it's a good cause. So since my taint is a ticking time bomb I now have a kick ass beard. I haven't shaved since November first and my beard is now thicker and longer than our office "beard dude". The problem is I'm already sick of it! About the only thing I hate more than shaving is having a beard! The feeling drives me nuts! I never feel clean! I guess I could shave part of it and do the cool '70s porn 'stash but that would require work. With my hair short and not shaving it take me almost 4 minutes to get ready in the morning, and that includes brushing my teeth for two minutes and Listerine for one minute! I think I'll try to keep the mountain man beard till the end of the month, but we'll see. The chicks do seem to dig it, though I can't post any pics of it, I get too many marriage proposals! It is pretty kick ass though, so you never know!

"What I Think Would Really Go Great With This Is A Bit Of Creme Fresh!!"

I need beer and tacos! I know it's too late to eat tacos, but I've already been drinking beer so I believe I can have another one! Maybe I'll just eat some Fritos instead. It's not so much that I shouldn't eat tacos right now, it's more that I don't feel like making tacos this late. This blog is recorded live in front of a studio audience, sans laugh-track! The woman on the television says she loves asparagus! She seems a little too revved up about it, she's kinda freaking me out! I think I should go to bed, though I don't have to be up early tomorrow. Later kids, I think it's time for me to go eat Fritos in bed. 'Night y'all!

"Torn Like An Old Dollar Bill"

How long is too long..............How much is too much? Those are questions I tend to as after a few barley pops. The answers come after a shitload of barley pops. I've asked the questions, I don't have any answers yet. Not sure if I have enough beer to find the answers. Yeah. I'm drunk and salty and I need another beer. Later freaks.

"Run Like Hell"

I completed my fifth marathon this past Sunday! It wasn't my best but it wasn't my worst either. I finished in 4:00 almost exactly. Which with as little as I trained over the last two months, I'm pretty happy with. I wanted to finish under 4 hours but I started cramping at around mile 23 and had to walk a bit after that. I did manage to finish the race with as many toenails as I started with, which is always a good thing! All in all, it was a great race. I finished in the top 30% of finishers. The weather was absolutely perfect for running, it was in the 50's and overcast for most of my run, the it got sunny and warmer right when I finished. Which was cool since they had really good beer which was free for the runners! I did have to wait a little bit before I could drink any, had to wait for my guts to get back to normal. Good thing I had a ride home, beer hits ya pretty quick after you run for four hours! Well that's all I've got for today,
Later Freaks!

Cash Money!

I got an expense check today that I forgot about! It's like found money, not much better than that, well not much that doesn't involve being naked and covered in chocolate pudding! I should buy beer with it! Though I guess I should use it to pay the charges on my credit card. That won't help me write a good drunk post though! Off to the liquor store!
Later Freaks!

I have to admit.........

I love muffin tops on a woman! I was at the grocery store today and there was a woman reaching up to get some chips off the top shelf. As she reached up her shirt slid up just enough to show her waist, and her perfect little curves above her waist line! Instant naughty thoughts! Though I was polite enough to get her chips for her. She smiled and said thanks. Glad she couldn't read my mind just then, though who knows. :-) Later Freaks!

A Voice Rings Out Of The Darkness............

And says.......come back. Well, here I am! I think I feel like getting drunk, but I really shouldn't. I want to go running tomorrow morning and 10 miles with a hangover really sucks! Though I think I can have a couple of barley pops without too much discomfort. Hold on, gotta go grab a beer. Oh wait! You can come with me since I'm using the blogger app on my phone. I can't really type anything while I'm walking though so you really won't know I left. See! Didn't even know I was gone! You know I think the all you can eat Chinese buffet I ate at tonight will probably be a bigger problem than the three beers I'm going to drink! Ok, so what's new with me?! I had a weird crazy sex dream last night, even weirder is that it was with my friends younger sister. She's good looking but not at all my type, and a little kooky in the noodle if ya know what I mean! She was a lot of fun in my dream last night though. Its funny how your brain works, I don't even know the last time I've seen her.  What else is going on? Not much, been working a lot. I do like my new job, though I don't get any time for blogging. I guess its ok since I have decent enough insurance now that I can go to the doctor now if I think I'm dying. I still probably won't but I can! Bet you didn't notice I went to grab another beer! Sounds like there might be thunder storms tomorrow morning so I may not be running. I may have to get drunk tonight instead! If I do I'll have to try to get on for a good drunk post later! It could be fun since I already am sans pants! I don't feel like rereading this post so there may be some spelling errors or really cool autocorrect shit!
Later Freaks!

What?!

I forgot how this blogging from my phone thing works! So you may not be reading this. It may just disappear into whatever. I really don't have anything to say, just forgot I could post from my phone. I guess I could say hi to anyone that still checks in on me. Hi! I'm not wearing any underpants! Well actually Im pretty sure I am but not positive, so I'm just throwing that out there. Other than that I got nothin'.
Later Freaks!