Whiskey and Scissors!

I just watched that Johnny Depp movie where he's got the scissors for hands, I've also seen the remake where the dude had penises for hands too, that one sucked. They could have done so much more with that premise. But back to my original thought. How would my life be different if I had scissors for hands. I'm not creative like he was so the topiaries are out of the question. I'm guessing basketball probably wouldn't work out too well either. Clipping coupons would be easy, so I'd save a ton on groceries. Though I think the rest of my life would kinda suck, especially when I'd be looking at my "happy pictures" on the interwebs! Ouch, though I'm sure I'd have lots of coupons for band-aids. Well, I think it's time to start drinking. I picked up a new bottle of whiskey and it's calling to me! Later Freaks!